the day

It's a nice sunny day today after three chilly rainy days in LA.
So as I was walking to Gillette, I felt like it was going to be a fantastic day despite my lack of sleep.
I was wrong.

Large Iced Americano 3 regular 1 decaf for my supervisor. Check.
Graphic layout. Check.
Lunch break. Check.
Wet Chicken Burrito for my supervisor. And here is when it started going wrong.
They said they only served wet burritos for breakfast. And they didn't have half of the ingredients he wanted in his burrito. So I called the supervisor to explain and pleaded the cook to wet the burrito with extra salsa. It was crucial. He had emphasized to make sure that I got wet burrito. "Que mas quiere?" asked a lady in an annoyed tone, and they talked to each other in Spanish, naturally assuming I wouldn't understand them. Sometimes it's the best to let people have their secrecy and privacy, so I kept quiet.
Cover the front desk for an hr. And I had the most nerve racking 30 minutes of my intern life.
I had THE owner of the company on line one, wanting to talk to my supervisor, and someone else was calling so I had to take it (no more than 3 rings! I was strictly told). It was one of the producers asking for someone's contact info I couldn't find. Connected line one with my supervisor, kept looking for the info, and two expected visitors came in. Got them water, and called Scott (another intern) to ask where I could find the info. He was on his way. Line two "What happened to the contact info?!" "I'm still looking into it.." Line three, my supervisor. "Hey for the future reference, get me Mr. Evans right away no matter what. He doesn't like to be on hold."
Scott comes in and starts asking questions I don't have answers to saying, "you're the one who talked with her."
Well, Scott is back. I'm done covering the phone, I thought, but he needed to use restroom. And in that short time, a call comes through and I accidentally disconnect the call. Great humored producer goes "Hani, darling, you disconnected the call! Scott get him on the phone for me now. I don't know where he was calling from so try all the numbers."
A while later, Scott goes "so, what happened?"
Sigh...I think Scott began to distrust me.

Burn a presentation on a CD and take it to the Graphic Services, fill out the request paper. Check.
On my way, a cameraman joyfully greeted "nice day, today. How are you?" I couldn't help but smile and reply "good, how are you?" Aaaaaaaaah I wanted to cry...
I'm nervously waiting for the booklets, hoping I didn't mess up on that one.
Oh please, God. Have mercy and make those booklets perfectly pleasing to my supervisor's eyes.

casting

You know, I once thought of becoming an actress. Although I'm a terrible liar and own a horrible poker face in real life, I always loved acting and was heavily involved in plays and acts up to high school. But meeting so many great aspiring actors in LA, I'm almost ashamed to say that I wanted to be an actress.
For Jason's short film casting, the actresses had to prepare a monologue and sing a capella. And most of them were AWESOME, both in acting and singing. For the short film that I was assigned as a producer, actors performed a little scene with our reader (also an aspiring actor, who looks just like Zach Ephron, and he knows it), 1. how they interpreted the scene 2-4. with director's acting directions. Oh my..they were awesome. Some of them definitely stood out more than others but really, I was mesmerized by most of them.
It is unbelievable all the time they are putting into a student short film, for small and big parts. All the driving in the rain (apparently, people in California don't know how to drive in rain since it hardly rains here, and it miraculously rained today), hectic, horrifying parking situations, waiting forever for a 3-5 min. audition, and no payment.
Beautiful people. My respects.
Seriously, I don't even know how it is possible to have so many mediocre famous actors on screen (let's not name names. Well, let's: KeRe, JoCu, JuSt..OrBl is trying..I still have faith in him) when all these beautiful people are waiting for their chance.
Too depressing to be true.

dishonesty

I'm just gonna say it: I've often considered myself as a nice, social, well-balanced person.
It was only a few days ago that I discovered that I could be grumpy in presence of people other than my family. And last night I discovered that I often agreed with people just to avoid further discussions (okay, Alvin, maybe not so much with you).

When I started translating for mission groups and seminar speakers, I was still young. I would be interacting with a group 24/7 and I would think they would forever remember me. But of course, that rarely happened as they parted back to their busy lives after a week of missions, and I'd be pouring my time and heart to different people almost every other week. Then I was tired. I was tired of so many people taking my heart and not giving anything in return. Not even a hi. So I learned how to interact with people without being too attached to them.

I'm not too proud of my skill of befriending many people without emotionally being attached to them. Don't get me wrong, I deeply care for my friends and will be there for them no matter what. But no one really knows what's going on in my life..internally.

Two nights ago, I had one of the most amazing conversations with Esther. I started the conversation of "a girl meets a boy" and God led it to an intimate spiritual conversation. We ended up talking about tongues, prayers, and spiritual manifests. What a gracious night. But it also reminded me of the fact that I hadn't opened up myself with someone else for too long.

Maybe I'm not that nice after all. Maybe I'm just so used to please people that I naturally look nice. Or maybe by pleasing people for so long, I have become nice.
Maybe I'm not that social after all. Maybe I've acquired social skills only to avoid pouring my heart out to people.
Maybe I'm not that well-balanced after all. That's the compliment that my parents and close friends often gave me, but maybe I managed to deceive everyone somehow. I constantly question God for many things that happen in the world and in my life, without being able to balance my own principals and actions.

But I'm trying. To genuinely be interested in people, and to start opening up little by little. To admit that I hate being vulnerable. And not to be afraid of being vulnerable. To be honest. To be crystal clear with my friends, as clearly as my expressed emotions on my face. To let and invite people into my life.

a week of premieres

The Invention of Lying.
My dear friends were waiting for me with my ticket, while I was running like crazy in Hollywoold Blvd. in hills, and we got in.
Chinese Theater was majestic and to see it so full amazed me.
Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe, and other cast members sat among us (not by us, us. Just among the audience) and the film started.
Oh.my.goodness. The film was funny. Great original premise and awesome cast (really, Ricky Gervais!?!) and incredible moments. At some point I thought it was too over the top but hey, it was supposed to be over the top, right?
Now. It had lots of profane jokes and as I was laughing, I couldn't believe I was laughing with all the other (probably secular) audience. Was it supposed to offend me? Maybe this film was just reminding us of some biblical stories! Then I was shocked.
Some of the friends who went with me hated the film. They thought the film was telling the audience that God was a lie. Gosh, what was I missing out? Really? Was that what I (as a good Christian) was supposed to feel as well? I was confused. I'm still confused. Please watch the film and tell me if my friends were overreacting or if I, indeed, have become insensible to...my Christianity.

Fame.
I didn't get to watch the film because I didn't actually have a ticket to the premiere but I went to see the celebrities. Didn't recognize anyone in particular. The original cast was performing live before the screening but we had to leave early because my friends were on their way to Britney Spear's concert.
Anywho, I'm anxiously waiting for Step Up 3 to come out. In 3-D with SYTYCD crew!! YEAAAAAHHH!!!!

Surrogates.
An interesting robot film with Bruce Willis. It has a twist that I actually went "whooooa" and it had a different take on the usage of robots. My neck hurt as I was sitting pretty close to the mega screen. And I liked the song in the end. If you like robot films, watch it. If not, watch The Invention of Lying and please tell me what you thought of it.

thinking of you

I've said that sometimes I wished I would stop meeting new people and spend more time with the people that I already know, you know, rebuilding friendships. Then I realized that the more people I meet, the more I thought of the people that I already knew.

I have three wonderful roommates: Lydia, Esther, and Heidi.
Guaranteed, Alvin would love to hang out with Lydia. She once said "I couldn't have handpicked better roommates," and I completely agree.
Esther reminds me of lovely Tasha because of her cheerful encouragements and especially because she constantly says "he/she is so NICE!" And the way she interacts with guys reminds me of sweet Emily.
Heidi doesn't remind me of anyone in particular and I would love to know her better. She's chill and deep. She's also got this sexy, deep voice that I'll never have. I love it.

It was somewhat creepy to meet Eric, who's just like Bob Taylor in a taller and younger version. A considerate listener/talker and mac lover with thick black glasses in khaki pants. A cultured guy who gets super excited with new Apple products and Seinfeld stuff. Joe looks exactly like Henk. It's too bad that I don't know either of them well. Ian reminds me of Aaron for no reason; they don't look or talk or act or walk the same. Weird. He has some friends that go to Dordt. "Oh, the school all the Dutch people go to!" he said, when I still couldn't believe he knew about Dordt.

Steve's smile somewhat reminds me of that of Daniel's. He likes bands that no one else knows about, just like Todd. Those who discover and like songs 3 years before they actually get popular. I also thought of Alvin so I asked, "do you usually dislike blockbuster movies?" And he said, "not necessarily, but I usually end up hating movies that everyone else loves." Fair enough, I thought.

My favorite fellow(?) filmmakers Jason and Nathan remind me of Aaron and Berk, or even Pete and Nathan G. I envy these people who are both friends and wonderful working partners. And yesterday, I thought I had seen Allison. I must add though, Allison is much prettier and taller, of course.

Every required cool things from school make me go, "oh my..Piper will love this as well." Passing by karaoke rooms and bars, I think of the wonderful time I had with Sarah, Allison, Cora, Emily, Jackie, and Kelsey singing mostly 80 and 90's. Also I think of Harah, as we rocked and rolled in New York, and of Sae Mee and Alice since we longed to go to karaoke rooms so bad. I should go there sometime for all of us.

I can't believe it has only been about 2 weeks since I met these cool people and I already miss all my friends who are at Dordt. Eating, talking, dancing, chitchatting in the library, studying, attending meetings, making cool projects, and watching movies in my absence (and fyi, I'll be in John William's concert tonight in your absence). But hear me out. I think of you often and I wish you were HERE with me. Not so much the other way around.

cineplexity

I'm not a film geek.
I just got back from playing board games, starting with Cineplexity. Two cards (setting/prep/actors/scene) are in the center and when it's your turn, you are the director. Other players have to come up with a movie and explain the reason they picked that movie. You decide which movie takes the card. Very entertaining, but of course, I wasn't creative or "knowledged" enough.

The first night we (film students) met each other, 9 of us went to watch "Inglourious Basterds." On the way there, every time someone mentioned a movie, lines will be quoted by someone and will be followed by somebody else. I secretly smiled because I could never quote anything. And because I couldn't believe I was riding with these film geeks. And because I felt like I should be one.
We had about 3 hours before the showing so we walked around and entered stores along the way. In Borders, I found a book titled "Obsessed with Hollywood," which had 2500 random questions about films. Out of like 50 that we played, I only knew 2, both related to books. The good side of this is that I was the only one who knew those. Bad side? I didn't know any other ones.

I'm a very subjective film critic so I usually say "I like/don't like/love that movie!" instead of, "that's a great movie!" and don't weigh all the film elements to decide whether I like it or not.
Oh, here is an example. I didn't like "Pulp Fiction" because I could not understand what was so funny and smart about it. Disgusting and gory. So I fast-forwarded..uhm, most of it, I think (I tend to do that). Never watched "Kill Bill"s, and don't think I will. But I liked "Inglourious Bastards" because it made me laugh several times. It did have disgusting scenes like cutting the scalps off, but I only had to look down for a couple of minutes in total. I thought acting was great, stories well-tighten. Plus, Kate called me when the film was almost over (2:02am here, so like 4 or 5am over where she was), and gave me a great news. So there. Say what you want to say, but that's just me being subjective despite my film major.

I don't like to deal with the equipment: carrying it, setting it up, locating the right buttons, protecting it, etc.
So I had chosen to take scriptwriting as my elective course, but I couldn't answer when this want-to-become-a-director guy asked me who my favorite scriptwriter was. "Hmm, uhm..Huh.." I realized that my top movies are all adapted from novels: The Shawshank Redemption, Everything is Illuminated, Big Fish, etc... And..I don't know any scriptwriter's name. How shameful. Oh, and I dream about writing something like my top movies, but all I can come up with is chick flicks. Sigh..

We're still on the "orientation" phase, with interviews coming up. It is super weird to be around all these people who know so much about...about everything I don't know or haven't cared. I almost feel guilty being here. Okay, I don't feel guilty but you know what I mean. Still, I love it here. Classmates are nice and cool, I can walk to many places to do different things, I hear different languages all over, and I will get to hang out with Nathan and his friends, and also with Sonya. And really, it's Los Angeles. City of artists, city of dreamers. Maybe it will make me one.

city=options+culture+people

When I was in Seoul last summer, I went to several musicals, many of them in courtesy of the TV production and people I met as I was interning there: A Midsummer Night's Dream, Grease, Aida, Marionette, and a couple of Korean plays.
Night's Dream was remarkable as it took place in a club, the actors interacting with the audience..very intimately. As you walk into this club, they take your purses and hand you a bottle of cold tea. There's no seat, you find a spot to stand...and groove. The storyline was obvious and not so skillfully told, but hey, it was super interesting. Very enjoyable ("as long as you're not surrounded by 6 women over their forties dancing around you," said the actor I worked with).
Marionette was (and still is) my favorite, majorly because it was by B-boys, and their dance to the story was breathtaking. I don't even remember how I survived that show. Did I ever breathe? I'm still bummed that I didn't go to see "The Ballerina Who Loves a B-boy." Next time. For sure.

When I went to Chicago, I went to see Wicked. In Orlando, La Nouba, by Cirque du Soleil. Awesome, may I add. It was an eye-opening experience, and I couldn't keep my mouth shut during the entire show. It's amazing what people can do with their bodies. A different dimension of circus. Highly recommend it.
In New York, I was going to see Mamma Mia but didn't work after visiting the United of Nations.

On the way to the UN, I was hit on by an African-American in the subway. A writer/photographer/producer, said his business card.
In Honolulu, on a bus by a local. "You speak good English with a nice voice," said the guy.
In Merida, at school and in shopping malls, and in Cancun, in restaurants and beaches.
In Seoul, on the streets: once in a park by an American, who was teaching English ("how old are you? You've gotta let me buy you a drink...At least give me your number." "Sorry..I don't have a phone"), and once on a rainy day, by a Korean, who offered his umbrella. What a shame. It really could have been romantic. Like the beginning of a cheesy romantic movie. But it wasn't.

It was 1:30am. I was walking home from a subway station, after a long night of witnessing older people going not-so-admirable as they were getting drunk. It was pretty dark and no one was around. After several steps, it stopped raining. I looked up, there was an umbrella. I looked besides me, and there was this guy...who turned out to be a boastful college student. He's been lonely lately. Grrr. I started walking a little faster. He would love to have a drink with me. What is with the drinks? Seriously. I said, "I'm too tired." He asked for my number and name. I said I hadn't memorized my number (which was somewhat true) and that my name was...Hani Kim. Gosh, I'm such a smart liar. He saved his number on my phone and dialed from it. "Other time, then. I live nearby..so..give me a call anytime," he said. I gave him thanks and blocked his number in the elevator. Don't judge me. The situation was creepy. And I was tired. And frustrated with people drinking so much.

All cities I've visited and lived have shaped me socially and culutrally. They have offered me many things to see and learn, tastes to enjoy, interesting people to meet, live music to listen to, places to go, and buses to take. And here I've come again. This time, a little older, a little more mature, and for a little longer.