my keeper

"Two to Tango" by Louis Armstrong played in my car as I drove to work from LAX, after saying a tearful goodbye to Alvin. The song that I used to bounce and dance to sounded so cruel then, left alone, again, in this deserted city.

Mandy Moore was playing this morning on the way to LAX to drop Sam off, the joyful, creative, smart, tech-savy one in the family. He was here for 2 days and a half to visit me, and I was happy, laughing at his jokes and listening to the Dordt news, feeding him the food he missed, giving him a brief tour of Hollywood.

"It's Sunday today, huh? Let's listen to some Christian music instead," Sam said in a joyful tone, like the good cheerful brother I've always known. I asked for him to put Fernando Ortega on, he put him on shuffle. "I should look him up. I like him," Sam said after two songs, just like the good lifelong friend I've always known.

I don't exactly remember since when, but saying goodbye to Sam has been hard. I always wish I could have been a better sister when we were together, and that I would have given him everything he needed. Then I feel alone. And "Give Me Jesus" by Fernando Ortega played.

In the morning, when I rise. Give me Jesus.
And when I am alone. Give me Jesus.
And when I come to die. Give me Jesus.
You can have all in this world, but give me Jesus.